[sudo-discuss] Erotica: superiority and inferiority: hands vs.partners:

[GtwoG PublicOhOne]

"HARD, MESSY, and RISKY?"  Your phrasing around those words comes across
as somewhere between condescending and overtly mocking. 

So, the status hierarchy is based on the neo-Calvinist willingness to
suffer and die?  Or possibly  the right to brag about one's perfect
relationships and athletic talents? 

Abusive partners:  Two weeks ago a close friend of mine was in the
hospital for a week, after having nearly died due to being stabbed in
the back by his psycho girlfriend who is now in jail facing attempted
murder charges.  Yeah that relationship sure was HARD, MESSY and RISKY:
was that better than whacking off?

HIV & other deadly STDs:  People I knew died of AIDS: slow painful
miserable deaths like radiation poisoning stretched out to make the
agony worse.  My "young & cute" years were spent in the middle of a
f---ing public health apocalypse where any given night could be a death
sentence.  You really need to take a close look at your heterosexist
assumptions.  Those heterosexist assumptions are HARD (for this gay guy
to deal with, without breaking out into expletives), MESSY (expletive
deleted), and RISKY (if the risk of being seen as aggressively
prejudiced means anything to you), but hardly as much so as AIDS. 

And I take it you think revenge porn and other vicious tricks of the
sexual marketplace are funny?

There are no extra "good karma points," or social status points anywhere
this side of an infantry platoon, to be gained from doing what's HARD,
MESSY, or RISKY, compared to doing something else that's less likely to
get you killed.

And in my experience, people who insist on setting up invidious
superiority/inferiority hierarchies, and insist on invalidating the
quality of others' intimately personal experience, whether about
f---ery, wankery, geekery, food, music, religion, or whatever, are
usually overcompensating for being terribly insecure about themselves. 

And here I've been having conscience-bugs for weeks, about having told
someone at SR who had worked on Asterisk PBXs, that I thought Asterisk
"wasn't ready yet for prime-time" in office environments.  In retrospect
I thought my comment, "not ready for prime-time," had been insufferably
rude & arrogant.  Wow.  By comparison with the present instance, that
item was as mild as refried pinto beans with no salsa.

I'm going to be AFK until later today or this evening.  Ta ta...

-G.


=====


On 13-05-06-Mon 9:51 AM, Sonja Trauss wrote:
>
> You got it! Dealing with people is HARD. It's MESSY. It's RISKY.
>
> Here I was thinking, 'sonja, you paranoid jerk, is porn really a
> "scab"'? But, yeah... there you go.
>
> On May 6, 2013 3:19 AM, "GtwoG PublicOhOne" <g2g-public01 at att.net
> <mailto:g2g-public01 at att.net>> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>     Yo's-
>
>     So let's talk about the reasons we might prefer partners and the
>     reasons
>     we might prefer hands:
>
>     Anyone who's grown up with popular music knows the ideal of Romantic
>     Love:  The perfect relationship, each person fully attuned to the
>     other.  Great sex all the time, and great conversation all the time,
>     though not necessarily both at the same time.  Hearts & flowers until
>     death do us part, whether or not the state or one's employers
>     recognizes
>     the relationship.
>
>     But for the most part, reality doesn't work that way, as the divorce
>     rate demonstrates.
>
>     A hand is always preferable to an abusive partner.
>
>     A hand is often preferable to playing HIV roulette, and nowadays,
>     massively-drug-resistant gonorrhea roulette, not to mention
>     hepatitis C
>     and other life-threatening diseases, some of which can even be caught
>     from a (slurpy) kiss.
>
>     A hand may be preferable to the competitive game-playing of the sexual
>     "marketplace," where commodification is often the rule,
>     particularly in
>     a culture where "revenge porn" has become commonplace (posting
>     nudes of
>     one's former partners and "conquests" online for all the world to see,
>     against their will) and cruel gossip spreads at the speed of recycled
>     electrons.
>
>     For that matter a hand or two might be preferable to a partner who's
>     sexually inept, or of the opposite political or philosophical
>     persuasion
>     than oneself, or who isn't strong, smart, creative, empathic, or
>     otherwise capable in at least one way that matters to oneself.
>
>     After a particularly painful relationship breakup, a hand may be
>     retrospectively preferable to the wild ride that ended with the
>     going-insane feeling of being dumped or betrayed.
>
>     And it's probably arguable, as a generalization, that a hand that
>     meets
>     a basic physical need, is far better all round, than letting the
>     need go
>     unmet to the point where it builds relentlessly, thereby infecting
>     one's
>     every glance at another person, and one's every conversation.  In
>     other
>     words, masturbation is not only a personal good thing but a social
>     good
>     thing when it enables one to keep his/her objectivity rather than
>     viewing others first and foremost as possible sexual outlets.
>
>     Let's hear it for using our hands and keeping our objectivity!
>
>     -G.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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