[sudo-discuss] Incident with Steeve of Sudoroom.

[Robert Chu]

+1 Jake

On Thu, Mar 15, 2018, 5:42 PM robb <sf99er at gmail.com> wrote:

> i am taking Rayc's "That there is active mediation happening (not rushed),
> through out the month with myself, and also with others" as his consent to
> enter mediation.
> the process for mediation is in sudoroom's articles of association [here]
> <https://sudoroom.org/wiki/Articles_of_Association#Section_3.2_Conflict_Resolution>
> per subsection 3.2.1.2, i will await confirmation from the conflict
> steward as to both or all parties' consent to me being the mediator.
> <3
> ~r
>
> On Thu, Mar 15, 2018 at 3:24 PM, Jake <jake at spaz.org> wrote:
>
>> I was not satisfied with how this issue was treated at the meeting last
>> night,
>> basically people started leaving and Melissa started yelling at Robert
>> and I,
>> and while a conflict steward was selected (Dante) for Robert and Steve's
>> mediation, I didn't feel that people took seriously the issues that I
>> brought
>> up which were actually separate from the specific attack against Robert.
>>
>> I am asking for guidance on how to proceed with involving people at
>> Sudoroom
>> (and Omni-wide) who have concerns with Steve's behavior and what we can do
>> about it, to make sure that he isn't excluding people from our space with
>> his
>> unchecked behavior (as is happening now)
>>
>> And I want to start a discussion/mediation that doesn't involve really
>> angry
>> people screaming at each other across a meeting until everybody leaves.
>> It's
>> not OK and i'm not willing to just move on and pretend everything is fine
>> because it's easier than dealing with the problem.
>>
>> suggestions?
>> -jake
>>
>>
>> On Thu, 15 Mar 2018, Robert Chu wrote:
>>
>> After taking some time to think about this after the meeting. I ONLY feel
>>> comfortable with Steven in the space if the following criteria is met:
>>>
>>> Instead of Banning Steven for a set amount of time, I feel the following
>>> compromise is admirable, and if no progress is made from this, then he be
>>> asked to leave the space:
>>>
>>> 1. Steven's key access be revoked for one month from the space, and only
>>> granted access back, after the community and Steven, has come together to
>>> review progress, and positive changes, in the problematic behavior
>>> patterns
>>> that have been detrimental to the space. Only then if everyone is in
>>> agreement, then card access will be granted again.
>>>
>>> 2. Steven is only allow into the space if he is chaperoned by a mentor /
>>> voucher / member / liaison, who is present while he is in the space (a
>>> person would also be a mediary between him and myself)
>>>
>>> 3. That there is active mediation happening (not rushed), through out the
>>> month with myself, and also with others whom have been sick and disrupted
>>> by his behavior, for whatever reason i.e.use of the space (specifically
>>> using this space as his house, and being territorial about it, and
>>> leaving
>>> messes). With coordination from the mediation-stewart and mediator.
>>>
>>> The Member-Mentor-Voucher-Liaison would vouch for Steven, will partly be
>>> held accountable for any negative conduct, and also be able to work with
>>> him directly to catch small things that maybe problematic.
>>>
>>> - Exhibits a reasonable lack of self control
>>> - Rudeness (carrying on as if he owns Sudoroom, is an A-hole to anyone
>>> that
>>> tries to give constructive, positive feedback, on usage or behavior of
>>> the
>>> space).
>>> -  Violate the SAFE SPACE POLICY
>>> - Be aggressive or hostile toward anybody (repetitious I know)
>>> - Dissisruptive yelling and/or outbursts (I will even ask another person
>>> to
>>> ask him to leave if he has disruptive outbursts (as two meetings were
>>> disrupted because of them.
>>> - Verbal aggression anybody (and anything beyond that)
>>> - Not claiming a specific work area/space as his own (camping out/being
>>> hostile, or territorial about others working there)
>>> - Not making a mess, - Not storing person items (unless they are
>>> projects-NO PERSONAL STORAGE)
>>>
>>> - I feel a month would be a sufficient for him to develop healthier
>>> habits
>>> for a more productive space overall.
>>>
>>> We all come from different backgrounds, and some communication styles or
>>> lack therefore of sometimes need updating, and addressing.
>>>
>>> Problematic people do come to the Omnis (for whatever reason(s). As a
>>> community it is up to us to be able to come together, put *some
>>> *community
>>>
>>> investment together, to try to help/guide/coach/mentor that person to
>>> what
>>> is acceptable (not net/negative), behaviour.  And only then, only after
>>> some community investment, has been put forth, we can clearly see if a
>>> person will continue on as a disruption to the community, shall we ask
>>> that
>>> person to definitely leave the space as (it would be net-negative).
>>>
>>> The only shelter the Omni-commons is, is a shelter for the community to
>>> be
>>> able to be a community. Not a place to shelter an individual's community
>>> destructive behaviours. I think all of this as clearly as follows: If a
>>> person's behaviors are having a tangible, net-negative impact on the
>>> community (could be limited to one space), then they need to be addressed
>>> (within reason). If that person does not have the capacity to change for
>>> the overall health of the community, then that person must leave.
>>>
>>> As stated in the beginning I would only feel comfortable with Steven in
>>> the
>>> community ONLY he agreed to these requests, as I feel that a month of
>>> additional guidance would help catalyst healthier behavior patterns, and
>>> the community (including Steven) would coexist more seamlessly together.
>>>
>>> The verbal assault altercation and clearly ignoring my requests all day
>>> to
>>> not speak to me, is definitely an extreme, and in a lot of places he
>>> would
>>> have been kicked out no questions asked!!! But I feel that he has the
>>> ability to grow past this. As the victim of such abuse, I feel the typed
>>> above would suffice, even though I am still uneasy about the situation.
>>>
>>> As in the famous words of are neighboring hackerspace "Be excellent to
>>> each
>>> other dudes." They just left out "And work on excellence toward each
>>> other." (If there is a lack therefore of).
>>>
>>> This is not to attack him, but to help coach new growth and ways, so that
>>> all of what we are going through doesn't arise again. To me this is not a
>>> community issue. It is a community including Steven issue.
>>>
>>> Thanks for reading, and sorry if this is longer than a dissertation...
>>>
>>> I will discuss with the Mediator and Mediatior. Stewart
>>>
>>> H at kThEpLaNeT2G3thR
>>> - RAYC
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Robert Albert Young Chu
>>> "Radiant Ambition Yields Change."
>>> Call or Text :415-724-0425
>>> Email: robert.chu01 at gmail.com
>>>
>>> On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 2:53 PM, robb <sf99er at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>> k
>>>>
>>>> On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 11:36 AM, Robert Chu <robert.chu01 at gmail.com>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Also if people think I am being to dramatic when I state "bullying",
>>>>> here
>>>>> is an excerpt from the Bullying page of Wikipedia
>>>>>
>>>>> "Bullying can be defined in many different ways. The United Kingdom of
>>>>> Great Britain and Northern Ireland
>>>>> <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Kingdom> has no legal definition
>>>>> of bullying,[6] <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying#cite_note-6>
>>>>> while
>>>>> some states in the United States
>>>>> <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States> have laws against it.[7]
>>>>> <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying#cite_note-7> Bullying is
>>>>> divided
>>>>> into four basic types of abuse – emotional
>>>>> <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_abuse> (sometimes called
>>>>> relational), verbal <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verbal_abuse>,
>>>>> physical <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_abuse>, and cyber.[8]
>>>>> <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying#cite_note-8> It typically
>>>>> involves subtle methods of coercion, such as intimidation.
>>>>> - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying
>>>>>
>>>>> HIs actions reflected emotional abuse and verbal abuse, used to try to
>>>>> intimidate me.
>>>>>
>>>>> I also think it is bullying because he thought I might be to scared or
>>>>> (dominated over) to do something about it, either that or I am not
>>>>> entirely
>>>>> sure if he is aware of his own actions.
>>>>>
>>>>> I stand against bullying, stand up for people being bullied, and choose
>>>>> not to be a victim of bullying.
>>>>>
>>>>> I don't have any friends or associates in my life that are bullies, or
>>>>> treat me in a disrespectful way.  Which is why I really don't even feel
>>>>> comfortable mediating this with him at the current time.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Thank you for reading
>>>>> Rayc
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Robert Albert Young Chu
>>>>> "Radiant Ambition Yields Change."
>>>>> Call or Text :415-724-0425 <(415)%20724-0425>
>>>>>
>>>>> Email: robert.chu01 at gmail.com
>>>>>
>>>>> On Mon, Mar 12, 2018 at 11:28 AM, Robert Chu <robert.chu01 at gmail.com>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Hello Robb, thank you for your volunteering to do so. After reflecting
>>>>>> off of this for three days. I am still a bit shaken over the
>>>>>> incident, and
>>>>>> don't think I even wish to mediate currently, my hands were truly
>>>>>> shaking
>>>>>> for about two hours after his barrage of verbal assaults toward me. I
>>>>>> don't
>>>>>> really even feel comfortable talking through a mediator with him as
>>>>>> well at
>>>>>> the current time.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> He tried bullying me to force me to feel sorry for him, for something
>>>>>> in
>>>>>> which I clearly had done no wrong. He got pissed that I moved "his
>>>>>> table",
>>>>>> because it had his laptop bag attached to it. "THERE IS NO PERSONAL
>>>>>> STORAGE
>>>>>> AT SUDOROOM", if he didn't violate this, then this would not have
>>>>>> transpired."
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Then I told him how I felt, not to talk to me and was insulted.
>>>>>> (assertion of dominance, again).
>>>>>>
>>>>>> IMHO through his actions, he straight up bullied me and I defended
>>>>>> myself by contacting another Sudoroom member for support and advice
>>>>>> on the
>>>>>> matter (who lucky enough was able to pick up during working business
>>>>>> hours). I felt like I was being whipped mentally everytime he would
>>>>>> yell
>>>>>> over me yelling "F**K You" multiple times." And lying about owning a
>>>>>> table.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I don't tolerate people like that and don't engage with them at all.
>>>>>> Currently in my life I am not friends, or even associated with
>>>>>> anyone, who
>>>>>> acts in such ways at all.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> THE SAFE SPACE POLICY WAS CLEARLY VIOLATED AS WELL!!!
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Thank you Robb once again stepping up, and your support.
>>>>>> (even writing this is still eating at the back of my head)
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Robert Albert Young Chu
>>>>>> "Radiant Ambition Yields Change."
>>>>>> Call or Text :415-724-0425 <(415)%20724-0425>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Email: robert.chu01 at gmail.com
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On Sat, Mar 10, 2018 at 12:38 PM, robb <sf99er at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>> if either party wishes for someone to help mediate this matter, i am
>>>>>>> available
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> On Fri, Mar 9, 2018 at 4:09 PM, Steve Leach <stevenaleach at gmail.com>
>>>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> To the group as a whole, I apologizing for causing Robert stress, I
>>>>>>>> did yell at him outside the Omni, though only with the intent of
>>>>>>>> re-expressing something that I had expressed the previous day in a
>>>>>>>> more
>>>>>>>> clear and somewhat comedic manner. It seemed that perhaps with his
>>>>>>>> high
>>>>>>>> energy level, my normal tone the previous day had not registered
>>>>>>>> because I
>>>>>>>> hadn't bothered to sound upset. So today I intentionally let him
>>>>>>>> know that
>>>>>>>> I was upset. Now - the issue at hand is something I set myself up
>>>>>>>> for: most
>>>>>>>> nights, especially when it is raining, I have made it a habit of
>>>>>>>> leaving my
>>>>>>>> laptop in a basket under a table at the front. There's no pressing
>>>>>>>> reason
>>>>>>>> to leave it there - my little abode is waterproof and lockable, but
>>>>>>>> not
>>>>>>>> while I am asleep, and the unlikely scenario of someone opening the
>>>>>>>> door
>>>>>>>> while I'm unconscious and managing to walk off with my
>>>>>>>> irreplaceable gear
>>>>>>>> means I've felt safer leaving it semi-secured inside the building
>>>>>>>> rather
>>>>>>>> than with me at night. Two days in a row, however, I found the
>>>>>>>> basket with
>>>>>>>> my laptop bag sitting forlorn and alone in the middle of the floor
>>>>>>>> in the
>>>>>>>> general 'donataions/hack-this' zone where I couldn't blame anyone
>>>>>>>> if they
>>>>>>>> would have come before me and adopted it. I grumbled good naturedly
>>>>>>>> at
>>>>>>>> Robert yesterday, just to point out the situation that resulted
>>>>>>>> when the
>>>>>>>> table went away and suggested he should have taken the other table
>>>>>>>> of the
>>>>>>>> pair -- or move the basket under the remaining table instead.
>>>>>>>> Today, I
>>>>>>>> found the same scenario repeated and decided to actually show that
>>>>>>>> I was
>>>>>>>> upset. If this apparently frightened or caused stress to Robert,
>>>>>>>> I'm sorry
>>>>>>>> - that was neither my intention nor at all expected. I just chose
>>>>>>>> to be a
>>>>>>>> little more theatrical and high energy in communicating with a
>>>>>>>> boisterous
>>>>>>>> high energy individual who had disregarded my previous attempts at
>>>>>>>> communication. That he apparently mistook this as threatening is
>>>>>>>> unfortunate and unexpected - again, I was just trying to more match
>>>>>>>> his
>>>>>>>> normal energy level and boisterousness since my more flat and
>>>>>>>> matter-of-fact communication previously had not worked. Again,
>>>>>>>> sorry to all
>>>>>>>> for causing any unneeded chaos, and in the future I will avoid the
>>>>>>>> problem
>>>>>>>> by simply keeping my laptop with me at night and therefore not
>>>>>>>> having to
>>>>>>>> worry about it.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>>>> sudo-discuss mailing list
>>>>>>>> sudo-discuss at lists.sudoroom.org
>>>>>>>> https://sudoroom.org/lists/listinfo/sudo-discuss
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> --
>>>>>>> *First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you,
>>>>>>> then you win*.
>>>>>>> - Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>> has been addressed to you in error, please immediately alert the
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>>>>>>> strictly prohibited.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> *First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you,
>>>> then
>>>> you win*.
>>>> - Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
>>>>
>>>> CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
>>>> The contents of this email message and any attachments are intended
>>>> solely
>>>> for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged
>>>> information and may be legally protected from disclosure. If you are not
>>>> the intended recipient of this message or their agent, or if this
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>>>> has been addressed to you in error, please immediately alert the sender
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>>>>
>>>>
>
>
> --
> *First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then
> you win*.
> - Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
>
> CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
> The contents of this email message and any attachments are intended solely
> for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged
> information and may be legally protected from disclosure. If you are not
> the intended recipient of this message or their agent, or if this message
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> reply email and then delete this message and any attachments. If you are
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